Archives For conflict

No Fighting on Everest

April 29, 2013 — 4 Comments

This weekend, I was struck by a news story reporting a fight near the top of Mount Everest between climbers and their Nepalese sherpas. A brawl at more than 25,000 feet, close to the summit (29,029 feet)? You’ve gotta be kidding me.

I’ve hiked Mt. Whitney and know what conditions are like at around 14,500…and the thought of doing that on Mt. Everest is almost nauseating. Even worse, the thought of hikers brawling with the smartest, most experienced, and most resourceful hikers on the mountain—those present only to help them—is ridiculous.

One would think the conditions alone would bring everyone together. One would think cooler heads would prevail and perspective maintained when it’s a matter of life and death.

Nope.

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The Missional Excuse

February 11, 2013 — 6 Comments

I’ve observed an occasional correlation between those trying to be “missional” and those frustrated with the internal turbulence in their congregation or own soul. Of course, not all churches suddenly trying to be missional have gridlocked leaderships or frustrated ministers–but many do. You can’t tell from what they write in books or articles. You can’t always tell from what they say behind a microphone. You have to hear them talk “off the record.” I don’t have anyone in particular in mind as I type, but I can think of a number of examples in which missional becomes a last resort for a leader or leadership that can’t find their way out of gridlock or that theological dark place.

Consider the functioning of a traditional family. If mom and dad can’t get along, they often focus on the kids. This may relieve tension in the mom and dad temporarily. Mom and dad may also think it’s what’s best for the family as a whole. However, it tends to really mess up the kids, as they become those in whom the stress of the marriage surfaces. The same can be said of those in whom the stress between Christians surfaces.

When leadership and congregation, preacher and elders, one-half of the church and the other half–are at odds, it’s easy to feel the need to do something to break the cycle. It’s normal to feel the need to refocus. As long as churches are continuing to work diligently to reconcile with one another and shape a common vision, this can be a way of building common ground, temporarily. However, the lost, the broken, the poor–they cannot be where we work out our congregational stuff. They need not wait for us to get our act together. Yet, if we seek “missionality” to the exclusion of working diligently on our issues, we aren’t being missional. We’re using missionality as an excuse–as an avoidance behavior.

I’m not suggesting any of us do so intentionally. I think it’s subconscious. I think it’s rather natural…but also wrong.

Missional, done right, is incarnational and thus requires a clear picture of Christ, as well as emotional and spiritual maturity. It requires a clear vision of Christ to avoid mutation into moral but secular activism or do-goodism loosely attached to theology. Following Jesus faithfully for the sake of the world requires we pay attention to the work of reconciliation with one another even as try to “be missional.” Perhaps we should look at our unity as a “missional move.”

If we, in our frustration, try to be missional (even if we’ve always thought it was the right way to go), we risk making “identified patients” of those we encounter in all of our efforts to share the common good. Family systems genius Edwin Friedman says, ”the identified patient is not “sick” but simply the one in whom the family’s stress or pathology has surfaced.” It’s why child-centered families tend to produce unhealthy kids…and why the more we focus on culture, the more upset with us they seem to become. These are of course generalizations, but I believe them to be accurate.

Could it be the hostility of culture we feel now has less to do with our doctrines than with the consequences of our inability to deal with our own anxieties? To what extent, I wonder, has culture become the identified patient of the Church’s internal wars? To what extent is their hostility toward the church a result of the anxiety we’ve transferred. Have they become an avoidance behavior for us? I pray not.

This isn’t a knock on the missional movement, which has much to commend it. It’s also not a knock on the frustrated. Ministry frustration is among the most life-sucking, depressing kinds. It’s just a warning to us all not to use “the lost,” “the poor” or the need to be missional as a way to avoid dealing with our own junk. If we want to be missional, let’s be missional. Let’s not make missional an excuse.

Let it begin with me.

Here are some things on my mind this Friday morning:

  • The Super Bowl has taken on the role of national holiday. Some churches are quite freaked out by the Super Bowl’s mushrooming prominence. What’s the church’s response to this? Let’s think like missionaries. We should embrace it in an appropriate way…and grab some chips and queso. I doubt Latin American missionaries get far by railing against the World Cup.
  • The 10U Girls Softball team I coach had our first full practice. I can’t believe I was dumb enough to join them in the sprint drills.
  • Ray Lewis isn’t helping Christianity much this week. However, Kurt Warner and Drew Brees are.
  • Props to this coach for getting the assist in this Russian basketball game.

  • If you’re interested in becoming a better writer or blogger, check out Here’s How Seth Godin Writes. He says his High-School teacher wrote this in his Yearbook: “You are the bane of my existence and it’s likely you’ll never amount to anything.” Nice.
  • Now for some more serious stuff:
  • I have three daughters Emily and I are raising to follow Christ as best we can. A series of blog posts this week from different female bloggers on the question of whether the church “idolizes” virginity made the rounds. You can read Rachel Held Evans’ take here.The others were written by Sarah Bessy, and Elizabeth Esther.
  • The good part about these three blogs is they call the church out of self-righteousness and speaking ill of those who sin through fornication before marriage. You’ll notice, however, the language I just used is far from what’s used in these blogs. I found the theology of these blogs to be more feminist than biblical (though the two are not mutually exclusive).
  • As they seek to combat what is a grievous wrong–demeaning and writing off those who lose their virginity prior to marriage, these blogs are peppered with caricatures of Christian ministries that do what they can to help young women and men avoid the sin that so easily entangles when you are young. The reason is these ministries, these bloggers believe, do more harm than good.
  • I grew up in the church, preach in the church, teach university courses at a Christian college, speak at conferences and consult with churches all over the country. I’m an avid reader of blogs and books, and served as a Youth Minister and Youth Camp Director. and I’ve never once heard anyone say what these bloggers claim is a relatively common Christian teaching-if you aren’t a virgin, you’re permanently damaged goods, no one will want you, God doesn’t love you and your marriage will be terrible. I’m not suggesting they didn’t hear it. I’m saying I have never heard it. I have (albeit rarely) heard people describe the implications of sin, in a non-demeaning way unlike what’s described in the blogs. Perhaps I’d have felt better if they hadn’t run the headline “Do Christians (i.e. “all”) idolize virginity?”
  • What concerned me was that in thousands of words over three blogs by Christian women on the subject of pre-marital sex and virginity, the term, “sin” is never used by the authors. I could only find the word one time–on the lips of Jesus in the story of the woman caught in adultery.
  • I was waiting for one of them to talk about what it means when Paul says we are not our own, but were bought with a price, so, we should glorify God with our bodies. From a Christian standpoint, before we are women or men, we are Christians–and we aren’t our own.
  • Rachel, Sarah, and Elizabeth, your writing is superb, and I’m thankful for your insights as a father of daughters. However, I will teach them to honor Christ with their body because it isn’t theirs to begin with–it’s God’s. I will teach them to wait until marriage for sex because it’s what God wants for both men and women. I will also smack any preacher I hear telling either women or men who sin sexually they are permanently damaged goods (I’ll smack them in a Christian way). Perhaps that’s what you believe as well–it just didn’t come across to me in the blogs.
  • No preacher (or blogger) of the gospel should say, imply or think a person shouldn’t repent of the sin (any sin) they’ve committed. Fornication is a sin. Adultery is a sin. Christ is more than enough to redeem it, but He died to do so. Thus, we must understand it’s seriousness even as we protect our young ladies (or young men) from the sense Jesus can’t or won’t redeem it.
  • My Super Bowl pick (i.e., the way it’s going to be): Baltimore 27, San Francisco 20.

Thoughts?

Here are some things on my mind this Friday morning:

  • The Manti Te’o situation is one of the oddest things we’ve come by in a long time. I don’t know what the truth is…but if he lied to us all to get himself ahead–he needs to make it as right as he can. A friend of mine (assuming Te’o conned us all) tweeted yesterday he should start dating Clint Eastwood’s empty chair. I tried not to laugh, and failed.
  • Is there a more touching scene in all the Bible than Peter hearing it’s Jesus and jumping into the water in John 21? I can’t wait to preach on it this Sunday.
  • Lance Armstrong…say it ain’t so. The reason he’ll be raked over the coals isn’t dishonesty, but rather he was cruel to those around him. He has few supporters who knew him well. It says something that none of his friends or family are stepping up to say he’s one of the most caring people they know. Thus, he and Barry Bonds will enjoy the same fate–except only Armstrong could surpass America’s all-time home run king in American folklore, so perhaps he’ll fall even further. It’s really a sad story.
  • The gun control fiats issued by President Obama are an interesting case study in leadership. To me, executive orders should be reserved for things like war time. Positional power is the kind we resort to when we lack the ability to lead through moral suasion and persuasion. He’s also severely hampered his ability to get anything done in Congress–and really put some of his fellow Democrats in peril at election time in 2 years.
  • The problem with unilateral decisions (regardless of their constitutionality) is you don’t change minds or hearts, and you often make big mistakes because you’re leading in general isolation.
  • Enough of that. I just find it a fascinating leadership situation.
  • No matter how tired, irrelevant & sad-looking a book may be, I still can’t throw one away.
  • At New Vintage Church, we’ve scheduled a “baptism Sunday.” It’s the first time we’ve done anything like it. We’ll obviously baptize people before or after, but it’s a concentrated season to simply think about it, teach on it, and get people to commit. The theory is, it’s easier to get married when one knows when the wedding is. So far, we’ve received a really good response. Maybe I’ll write a bit more about ours as things develop.
  • What in the world is happening to Apple stock?
  • We may be entering a doctrinal dark age. The one, however, is less an age when people believe nothing–but one in which we believe the wrongs things with great conviction.
  • I obviously think we need to be wise in how we live and portray Christ in our daily lives–but some Christians are near manic at the thought someone might not like Christians if we believe or say this or that. How does one live faithfully when one is willing to change not just the tone, but the content of their belief system?
  • Has anyone studied whether addressing the issues cited by our young critics in books like unChristian (which I found helpful) actually causes more of them to accept Christ and the Church? If, for instance, all Christians decided to accept homosexual behavior, would more people decide to become Christians? If they would, would it justify altering those beliefs?
  • Laker fans, this season is over.
  • Baseball season is drawing near.

What’s on your mind this Friday morning? Any thoughts on anything above?

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