Archives For Personal Writings

Marriage-Ministry

How Much Should I Share with My Spouse?

March 20, 2013 — 7 Comments

How much of what happens at church should be shared with our spouses? The short answer: What builds trust in marriage, and unity of heart in ministry.

Looking back, I did our young marriage no favors by sharing everything that happened at church with Emily. I would come home, and she would ask how my day was. My response on a bad day was to lay out all the frustrating or hurtful stuff that happened. My response on a good day was, “fine.” This influenced Emily’s view of the church and ministry as a whole—though she’s always had her own mind on the subject :)

This is still a work in progress, but, I’d like to think I’ve gotten a bit better at discerning what and how to share ministry with Emily. Here are some observations.

Continue Reading...
In Christianity, Family Life, Leadership, Leadership Vault, Personal, Personal Writings, Theology , , , , ,
permalink

2013

January 1, 2013 — 1 Comment

Jars Happy New Year to everyone. It’s January 1, and that means it’s resolution time!

Sociological bean-counters report that now barely one in three of us continue to make the traditional New Year’s Resolution. Our resolutions seem always to tend towards pushing the limits of our abilities, testing the strength of our self-denial. No wonder resolution-making is falling by the wayside.

The tradition of making New Year’s resolutions dates back to the early Babylonians. They too tended towards the pragmatic and responsible side of resolutions, most often resolving to return borrowed farm equipment.

My family has a tradition we affectionately refer to as the “The Jar.” We take our resolutions and our predictions for the year, seal them in a jar, and open them on the following New Year’s Eve. My resolutions for 2012 were:

Well…never mind.

What is it about the future that makes both believers and unbelievers so frightened, so anxious, so fearful, so in need of the slate being wiped clean? Most of us at some point had an encounter with Charles Dickens’ famed story, A Christmas Carol, in which Ebenezer Scrooge is converted from chronically selfish, bitter, and hateful, by what—a replaying of his personal sins and their potential results before his eyes.

Something like that happens at New Years. We pledge to lose 15 pounds because we finally realize how fat we have become. We resolve to save more and spend less now that we realize we’ve dug ourselves a hole. We resolve to give more to the church or to get the GPA up…as though because it is New Years, we will have more strength. Every health club in America can tell you about the New Year’s resolution season, and how people begin the year with tremendous verve for fitness, and are sitting on the couch verveless by March.

What if we resolved to be more of what we can be, instead of resolving just to be less of what we already are? What if we allowed God to make our resolutions for us—focusing on what matters most? What if we, like Paul, said,
“But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you.” – Philippians 3:13a-15.

Now, that’s a goal.

To that end, I offer you a prayer from my friend Ray Hardin:

I Trust You Lord
by Ray Hardin
Lord, when I put my faith in you
my life evens out;
my days are not so tough;
my nights are peaceful;
my temper is calm;
my joy comes back to the surface,
Why can’t I live that way
all the time, Lord?
And wanting to makes me
want to see what my faith
is all about.
It’s all about you, Lord.
It’s all about you.
Having faith in you
means I trust you.
Simply that.
I trust you.
I trust all my life with you…
all my days…
all my ways.
I trust them all with you.
I trust my life to you, Lord.
I give it to you to keep.
I know I am safe
in your hands.
I trust my past to you, Lord.
I give it to you to keep.
I know I am safe
in your hands.
        I trust my future to you, Lord.
I give it to you to keep.
I know I am safe
in your hands.
I trust my health to you, Lord.
my ambitions…
my failures…
my sorrows…
my weaknesses…
I trust them all to you, Lord.
I give them to you to keep.
I know I am safe
in your hands.
I trust you, Lord.
I put my faith in you.
And I know it’s the
right thing for me to do.
Because you have been good to me.
You have been faithful.
Your constant love
and tender mercy
have been
my salvation.

AMEN

Note: this post was adapted from a previous post from New Years Day 2010.

In Christianity, Current Affairs, Personal, Personal Writings, Productivity, Religion, Spiritual Formation , , , , , , , ,
permalink
Beggar

Becoming a Beggar – A Christmas Reflection

December 25, 2012 — Leave a comment

A few weeks back, I had an amazing conversation with a trusted friend and mentor. While he would never admit it, he’s older (ssshhhhh…). He is currently battling cancer, which has certainly not diminished his insight or willingness to let younger turkeys like myself ask him questions about everything from church to good books to the meaning of life.

He said something almost in passing that has stuck with me all night long. It was regarding God’s guidance. He said, “I would encourage you to become a beggar. One who literally begs God for His guidance.” He wasn’t suggesting that God gives his guidance begrudgingly, but I believe he was suggesting the Parable of the Persistent Widow had something to it. God generally responds to faith and humility rather than presumption.

I have been through seasons where I would say the begging thing was both necessary and natural for me. However, if I’m honest, it has never been a way of life. Perhaps it’s not supposed to be. Perhaps we reach a point where we rest in confidence that God means us no harm and is “for us.” The problem with this is when we get jump the theological shark by coming to believe if God is “for us” then whatever we do must be something God is for. BIG difference.

It seems to me that even if God is “for us,” the more humble and dependent we become and remain, the better followers of Christ we will be. Humility isn’t antithetical to boldness or courage. It’s what separates boldness and courage from rudeness and recklessness. The beggar way of life reminds us that without God, we dare not try to take one step alone. It reminds us of the absolute necessity of God’s presence. Without Him, we can do nothing. Through Him, we can do all things.

Jesus is God come near. Jesus is with us always. It’s Christmas time, and the incarnation reminds us of God’s bias toward guiding, protecting, redeeming, calling, and providing. In Christ, God reveals himself fully–including His predisposition toward proximity. In Christ, we see how God would have us to live, and we see that faith and healthy dependence on Him based in humility pleases Him and brings blessing. Whether it’s the woman with bleeding, the Centurion, or people today, Jesus is pleased with faith in his goodness and power. In Jesus, God has come near.

Now, let us beg. Let us seek to touch even the hem of His garment knowing we must do so to be made well, to be guided, to have strength to press ahead. If we cry out, we, like her, may hear him say, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace.”

Let us seek and find. Let us knock and behold Him opening the door. Let us beg…and receive from His hand. He is here and He is near. Let us rejoice and sing!

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” – John 1:14

Note: This material is adapted from a previous post. The mentor mentioned above has since gone to be with the Lord.

In Christianity, Personal Writings, Religion, Spiritual Formation, Theology , , , , , , , , ,
permalink
stay or go?

Why Should I Stay?

February 7, 2012 — 14 Comments

I know many who read this blog are not members of Churches of Christ. However, this is an important question for any Christian Fellowship to answer: Why Should I Stay?

I conversed recently with a preacher at the end of his rope. He feels his ministry is futile. He feels everything he suggests either gets a “no,” or gets a “yes” only after a multi-month, Herculean effort that brings him to the brink of utter despair. Even then, the “yes” brings him only tepid support that lasts until the first complaint.

This isn’t his first rodeo. Not even close. But, he’s torn between his spiritual heritage and what he perceives to be the vanity of staying in churches that exhaust he and his family while quenching his gifts and training.

This is of course is how he feels after many years of ministry. His heart is frustrated, tired, broken, and he’s asking: Why Should I Stay? Not in ministry. Not in Christ. In Churches of Christ. Granted, what makes one “in” or “out” is itself complicated. But, he is talking about a clean break.

I know I haven’t told you a lot. But, you know the broader strokes and probably know someone who has felt similarly–asking, “Why Should I Stay?” 

I offered a few suggestions as to why he might want to stay, and why he might not. What would you tell him? He’s listening.

In conflict, Leadership, Personal, Personal Writings, Religion , , ,
permalink
newvintagesmall

Six Months Later – a Church Planting Memoir

October 24, 2011 — 4 Comments

Yesterday, New Vintage Church celebrated 6 months of ministry since our “official launch.” We did so on a day we also welcomed some of the former Hidden Valley Christian Church to our ministry and celebrated the gifting of their facility to New Vintage Church. It was an amazing act of generosity that will go a long way toward helping New Vintage serve Christ more effectively. For that gift from God, we couldn’t be more thankful.

200+ worshipers gathered to say thank you to God, celebrate the Table, and study the fourth chapter of First John. Joy was palpable and unity won the day. During the sermon, I read short words of blessing that had been sent in by church leaders from other parts of the country, and NVC reemphasized the importance of the indwelling of God’s Spirit as the source of love.

I got home and flopped on the couch for a brief moment, before attending to life again. During my flop time I spent some time thinking about the journey of New Vintage thus far. I grabbed a notecard on which I had written the challenges that faced NVC as we started. I realized that New Vintage Church has faced enormous challenges, but God has been faithful through them all.

We’re still just getting started, but it appears right now our fledgling church is going to make it…and even do better than that. After ten months since our first unofficial gathering and six months of ministry since launch, I’m pausing to do some thinking about what God’s teaching me through the process.

Here are some takeaways thus far:

  • Church is about God working through and in people. A spiritually strong, servant-minded Christian is God’s joy and the building block of every great church in the world. In my years of ministry I have never been more thankful for people.
  • Today’s culture is fertile soil for starting a church–though doing so has increased challenges associated with it. This isn’t a great time to plant a heavily programmed church or one that requires enormous amounts of funding. It’s also a time in which new churches have to work even harder to get the attention of the community they’re trying to reach. If you can keep it lean programmatically and be innovative in how you get your name out there, it’s a great time to plant a church for those called to do so.
  • There are certainly “best practices.” However, there is really not one way to start a church. We’ve done many things “wrong” from a by-the-book standpoint. Yet, God continues to bless us with growth and, more importantly, health. I don’t take that for granted, and remain convinced that church health trumps nearly everything else. It’s always good to listen to conventional wisdom. There’s a reason it’s conventional wisdom. But, it’s also OK to challenge assumptions when you feel God is leading you to do so.
  • Church planting is a spiritual journey of many kinds–especially trust in God’s provision. To an extent, all church starters must do this (and most established churches as well), but NVC has survived on manna alone–little more. On a few days we’ve even awoken to find no manna on the ground at all. On such occasions, we’ve declared it a day of fasting and thanks to God. Our way of starting is one of radical dependence on God not just spiritually, but financially as well. Through it all, He’s been faithful. My hope is our journey will make us a thankful people who live generously and remain dependent on God. If you cannot function emotionally or spiritually without financial security…don’t plant a church.
  • Who you work with makes all the difference. I can’t imagine doing this working alongside people I didn’t believe in, didn’t like, or didn’t trust.
  • We need a lot more new churches around the world. Watching NVC’s ability to impact the lives of non-believers and ex-believers simply because we are new, energetic, and focused has taken me off-guard.  There are people plugged in at NVC that may never have plugged in anywhere else. More than ever before, I’m thankful for the variety of churches in God’s Kingdom, and realize that “new churches for new people in new places” is vital to the long-term future of Christianity in the world.

New Vintage Church still needs financial support. Click here to give securely online. Or, you can send a check to New Vintage Church, 1300 S. Juniper, Escondido, CA 92025.

 

In Church Planting, Leadership, New Vintage Church, Personal Writings , , ,
permalink